Trying to make sense of things

I have been diagnosed with many things although never a personality disorder. One of my major diagnoses's is OCD. I always considered that the reason for my problems but something doesn't add up. People with OCD aren't known to be manipulative liars. I did some research and came up with borderline personality disorder. It all seems to fit. I have racing thoughts. I feel emotionless alot of the time unless something directly affects me. Most of all, I constantly lie and manipulate for a reason I don't know. I lied to my best friend and told him I had been abused . I kept that lie going for a long time and the whole I knew it was wrong but I didn't feel anything. I would coldly analyse why I was doing it and what kind of person that made me and even though I realised I was evil, I never really felt anything about it. When my friend found out and stopped talking to me, thats when I felt. I felt guilty and upset, and mad at myself. But it took suffering a consequence to make me feel that way. Does that sound like borderline to anyone?

Trying to make sense of things